Lord of the Pink Lacy Thong
by bubblegumgirl
Summary: The Fellowship of the Wedgy must return the Pink Lacy Thong to QEH. This is a parody.
1. The Beginning

hey! This is a joint story that my friend Goriz and I did when we were very bored and hyper. For reference QEH is the All-Boys school which is sister to ours. And our school is RHS. 

Disclaimer: we don't own anything apart from the ideas

**Lord of the pink lacy thong: The fellowship of the wedgy**

In the dark quiet playground of RHS there stood 4 hobbits playing with a pink lacy thong. They weren't playing with it for long, before a tall, old man came along and started eyeing up the shadows. He bent over and pulled a wedgy on the hobbit known as Frodo.

"Oh! Gandalf your such a tease!" Said the hobbit known as Merry slapping him on the arse.

Gandalf turned around and said "I couldn't wait to see your beautiful face again." Merry ran off, closely followed by Pippin who stuck his tongue out at Gandalf.

Gandalf turned to Sam "Would you mind giving me, and the boy some time alone?" Sam gave him a queer look, but soon followed Merry and Pippin.

Gandalf took Frodo off to one side "I have a great task for you young Frodo, the powerfulness is far beyond your imagining. Long ago when I was but I wee frog, A Great Lady called Sauron."

Frodo interrupted "Isn't that a man?"

"NO!" Gandalf scratched his long fingernails down Frodo's face. "It is a woman"

Frodo shrugged

Gandalf continued "Each group of beings on Bristol-Earth had a small collection of lacy thongs and jock straps. These were created to make immense sexual pleasure for the wearer. Sauron had a collection of lacy thongs. But one of them she poured all her hornyness and sex goddess potential. This was wanted by many as she possessed the power to screw any being she chose."

Frodo gasped! An item of such potential was too wonderful to think about. He felt a small erection rise in his hobbit breaches.

"The thong which you have in your possession is the said item." Frodo suddenly became overwhelmed with horniness.

Gandalf suddenly shouted "I want to screw you!" unable to control the overpowering feelings from the thong.

Frodo quickly dropped the thong and ran away, if even ugly wizards fell in love with him he didn't want it anymore!

"No Frodo you must take it to QEH! They have the most need of it! They aren't able to arouse themselves without it!"

"No I don't want to! The Queers at QEH will rape me!"

"If you don't take it there I will rape you anyway!'

Frodo looked frightened. He didn't like this new side of Gandalf. He reluctantly plucked the thong from the floor and went to find Sam, Merry and Pippin, all the while, scratching his head.

Gandalf tilted his head to one side and looked at Frodo's retreating arse.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch Sam, Merry and Pippin were enjoying a 'friendly' game of hand-slaps. Sam's hands were worse off as he had little Pippin hitting his. Even though he was small, he was a little violent.

Suddenly, Frodo walked in carrying the pink lacy thong in front of him disgustingly. He told Sam, Merry and Pippin the story of the thong.

Sam's face lit up. "Think of what we can achieve with this!"

Frodo looked away scared, trying to subdue the sudden feelings he had towards Sam.

Merry and Pippin looked evilly at the two older hobbits, with one great leap they had grabbed the pink lacy thong out of Frodo's hands and tried to run out of the classroom passing a hobbit chorus member #1 (Duncan) who was writing "Happy birthday Bilbo" on the electronic board.

"Hey you! Where do you think you're going?" shouted Frodo

"Think of all the girls we can get with this!" piped up Pippin

"Where going to the girl's loo's!" Merry called after them.

Frodo extracted from his deepest pocket, his holographic propelling pencil. He extended the lead, and as he took a running jump, stabbed it into Merry's chubby little leg.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Pippin cried. Falling to the floor next to Merry, stroking his leg.

"Get off me!" Merry cried.

"Sorry! I thought you were a piece of wood" Pippin screeched.

Sam bent down and picked up the pink lacy thong. He suddenly felt aroused and ran to Frodo, all the while trying to subdue the overpowering feeling between his burning loins.

Frodo quickly ripped the thong from between Sam's podgy finger's.

"Only I can resist its intense need to shag people!" he looked sadly away. "There goes my sex life." He turned back to the three hobbits who were now playing hopscotch. "Will one of you accompany me?"

"Will we meet elves?" Asked Sam with a greedy look in his eyes.

"Probably. But I don't want any hanky panky from you young man!"

"Were coming, whether you like it or not." Said Merry

"Or you'll have to tie us to a lamppost with that thong on Brandon Hill!" exclaimed Pippin.

**If you like it review! Love xxx**


	2. The bus journey

OK here is Chapter 2! Finally…..

The four horny hobbits waked holding hands, like good little student to the bus stop.

On arrival they were met with the sight of four amazingly sexy girls. All four hobbits felt the sudden urge to rush forward, kiss their luscious glossy lips and fondle their pert, rather large boobs! Frodo felt this urge more profoundly than the other three, for he had concealed on his person the lacy thong.

However, thankfully not that the hobbits felt that way the number 8 bus arrived pulling up close to the pavement.

Pippin pushed forwards so that he could leap onto the bus first, as buses excited him. He pulled from his pocket two shiny round bus tokens, which he thrust into the female bus driver's face.

"what are you doing with those?" She snarled, "they are only for OAP's or Wizards, who generally tend to be OAP's."

She looked down at him menacingly, which wasn't difficult for her as Pippin was so small.

"No there not!" Piped up Pippin, "They are also for disabled people!"

"You're not disabled."

"Yes I am, I'm socially retarded. Stop discriminating against me, or I shall take your reference number and report you to your superior."

The other hobbits gazed on admirably.

"If you know all about that you can't be retarded, you little ferret!"

Pippin growled angrily and smashed his fist through the protective glass.

"Well that's a lot of good." Sam randomly added.

Pippin then proceeded to shove two tokens into the bus driver's eyes.

"Oi! You little toe rag!"

Pippin ran to the back row of the bus and shouted "Saved!"

The bus driver looked around frantically through her bus token eyes. The other hobbits quickly ran to the back of the bus without paying.

"I can't believe you did that!" Merry told Pippin in an unusually high voice.

"Drive on driver," a hobo said banging the bonnet of the bus and leaping through the doors of the bus barely missing being squished in their vice-like grip.

The bus chugged along narrowly avoiding the dogs of Redland.

"Damn it!" The hobo shouted, "I could have had that for my tea."

The hobbits looked at the man fearfully before Merry exclaimed "I still can't believe you did that!"

Pippin meanwhile was enthralled by the movement of the bus, "Were moving, were moving!"

Frodo and Sam looked pityingly at their two companions before continuing a game like rock, paper, scissors but which included human sex organs.

The bus crashed into a lamppost. However the bus driver was blissfully unaware as she was still blind to the world – courtesy of Pippin's bus tokens.

Frodo ran to the front of the bus with Sam on his heels. He skilfully removed the bus tokens from the bus driver's eyes and ran back up to Merry who was still pestering Pippin who was bouncing up and down by the run-a-way bus' movements.

The hobo meanwhile had got control of the bus and was careering towards the desired destination.

Finally after an eventful journey the bus stopped outside Starbucks. The hobbits quickly gathered their belongings which had been distributed around the bus through the journey thanks to the sexy girls, and they quickly disembarked (purposely stepping on top of the evil bus driver throughout) the bus and entered Starbucks.


End file.
